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Posts Tagged ‘Joke’

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle.
Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start spooling up and the airplane. starts moving down the runway.
The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the Captain: “You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream, and we’re gonna get killed!

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.

At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.

The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.

Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.

When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: “You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream, and we aren’t going to know when to take off!”

One day at a bussy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles up the aisle, and the copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first passengers do not react, thinking that it must be some sort of a practical joke. However, after a few minutes engines start revving and the airplane starts moving down the runway. Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly, and people began panicking. Finally, the plane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sign of reliefand turns to the pilot: ‘You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream, and we are going to get killed!’

Two guys are out walking their dogs. They decide to get a spot of lunch so head for a fancy hotel, however they notice a sign on the door saying “No dogs (guide dogs excepted)”.

“Don’t worry” says the first guy “if we put on Sunglasses we can pretend to be blind, then they’ll HAVE to let us in. So he puts on his sunglasses and walks up to the door. “I’m sorry sir” says the doorman “we don’t allow dogs in here.” “Oh no” says the first guy “this is a guide dog.” The doorman looks down at the dog (a beagle) and asks “A BEAGLE, sir?” “Yes, they’re fantastic” says the guy, and the doorman lets him in.

The second guy is impressed by his friend’s performance and decides to give it a try. He puts on his dark glasses and walks up to the door. “I’m sorry sir” says the doorman “we don’t allow dogs in here.” “Oh no” says the first guy “this is a guide dog.” The doorman looks down at the dog (a poodle) and asks “A POODLE, sir?” The guy looks shocked and says “Those BASTARDS! I can’t believe they gave me a f***ing POODLE!”